I have a love of life.
Some may call me a cynic but I'm truly an optimistic realist.
I work on the philosophy “If you expect the worst but aim for the best, you'll land somewhere that's comfortable.”
I’ve been asked on many occasions: “If you’re blind how can
you read this” and other similar variations of the question, and if you don’t
know what they are referring to by “this” they mean text online.
I use a couple of methods. I will ever use a magnifier and
the remaining sight I’ve got in my eye. Or, I use a built in native screen
reading software on the iOS platform. The software is called VoiceOver and is
available at no 006xtra charge on all iOS devices. It can be accessed by going
down the following path:
Settings > General > Accessibility > VoiceOver
I’d suggest you read the operation instructions before
trying it because the touch commands are slightly different.
Anyway – I use VO on my iPhone to read Tweets and to reply
along with all the other things you can do on Twitter.
If I am on my computer I tend to just use the 'left overs'
of my sight.
I prefer using the computer to the phone because I can type a
lot faster. But, with my phone it saves me getting sore and tired eyes.
If I am doing anything longer than a brief e-mail, text or Tweet
I just relent and use a computer.
To me this post is a very boring one but I’m sure for many
people it will answer lots of questions.
I do the whole tech thing like everything else I do, in a
way best to suit me. Some other blind/Severely visually impaired people may
just use a magnifier or just a screen reader.
A screen reader; is a piece of software that reads
everything on the screen. It identifies things like, links, images and other
such landmarks.
You can get screen readers for PCs and Macs but I like to
see what I can. As long as I have some sight, I’m reluctant to use VoiceOver on
my iMac. Not only would it reduce my browsing experience, it would use up too
much additional brain power. Or, in the beginning it would.
I have a basic know how to see me through if the worst did happen
but, here’s hopeful that I’ll never have to.
Why have an iMac/iPhone if you can’t see all the flashiness.
Simple the cost of a normal none Apple device with an equivalent screen reader
would cost the same give or take a few pound. With the none apple devices and
the third party software there’s the problem of system vs software conflicts
and software vs software conflicts. When a piece of software is designed and
run on a machine with the exact software designed for that machine that pouch
of problems isn’t there.
I hope this helps and please feel more than free to contact
me, via this, twitter or my webpage with any relevant questions. (http://www.pipa-riggs.wix.com/home)
The pro's of proving
scientifically there's a physical difference between the brains of
hetrosexual and homosexuals are:
The first is obvious,
we will know that it is not a matter of choice because very few if
any humans or animals can consciously control the development of
their neuropaths. This would then make it harder for people to
justify homophobia.
Secondly, it would then
give us a bases to research the causes and ultimately to see if it is
genetical or not. Thereby, reinforcing or not the case of if it's
choice or not.
Additionally, if anyone
thought they were homosexual they could be “tested” for it. The
risk of testing would me that it makes it more of an “illness”
but if it was approached in the same way as intelligence with the IQ
test then maybe not. This however leads away from the neurology and
genetics and into the field of psychology. With many things in
psychology they aren't solidly defined and the “choice” argument
could creep in. I doubt though, that anyone would “choose” to be
clinically retarded nor would they choose to be in a minority
(homosexual). Yes, homosexuality could be seen as a negative thing
still but at least there would be a marked and defined difference in
thought processes and such. How practical this would be I don't know.
The downsides are:
That if there is not
actually a difference it will reinforce the choice opinion and help
justify homophobia.
However, if there is a
difference that isn't genetical and is due to the way homosexuals are
brought up. It could lead to abuse of children, young adults and
adults that take solace in religions because they find it difficult
to understand their feelings.
The people that come
out when they are older may then feel worse for not knowing who they
were before.
The “Honeymoon” has
been brought to a close by me.
This morning I dragged
my butt out of bed after a disturbing choice to voluntarily watch
Jeremy Kyle. If you don't know what this is Imagine Ricky Lake but
with a male host and a slight increase in civility. If that fails to help you, look it up on YouTube.
So, you want the
low-down on the Wedding... Here we go then...
I got up at around 9
a.m.and Sam at 11 a.m. - overall it took us about an hour to an hour
and a half to get ready.
We did our own hair and
make-up, somehow, everyone failed to point out a unblended patch
under my eye. Never mind, we noticed it in the photo's afterwards and
that's the main thing right?
My aunt doubled as our
chauffeur and our witness. No, she doesn't have the big fancy limo we
were planning on but after doing some research, we found that the
operators were...pricks! A 2 hour hire was going to cost say £200 as
soon as we mentioned the word "wedding" it increased by 50% to a 100%. I could go on a rant here about capitalists and taking
advantage of a special day but I shan't. Instead our ride was a very
clean and comfortable, gold Renault Cleo.
The only issue was when
we got out and Sam came to guide me, I'd already started to move off
and she accidentally stood on my dress nearly pulling it down (off).
Once I'd regrouped we met with the rest of the “party” and headed
in. After being offered a £1,000 to not go through with it and to go
away for ever breaking Sam's heart (which I declined) we double
checked everything with the Registrar and went through to the
“ceremony room”.
On our way through, we
had some photo's taken on a little landing leading up to the town
museum against a banerstrade. The banerstrade was made from wood and
a little creaky, me being me, I turned to Sam and asked;: Babe, will
this hold your weight”. Yes, I got laughs but I also got a smack
from Sam, still unsure why...
Once everyone else and
the dog had their photo's taken on the same little bit we waited a
few extra minutes just incase any of the people from Facebook or
Twitter that'd been invited were running late (but none turned up).
And then...
The bells tolled on our
single life (living together) and the key was put in the door of
“marriage”. Word by word it turned in the lock, before long the
door was open and we walked through it to congratulations from family
(in person) and friends (on twitter, Facebook and by text).
Our vowels went like
this:
“I promise you
loyalty and friendship, and to love you with all that I am and all
that I can be. I promise you this from the depth of my heart and
mind, for all our life together.”
Then for the exchange
of the rings, we went for;
“I give you this ring
as a sign of our partnership. All that I am I give to you, All that I
have I share with you, for the whole of our life together.”
I was good to recite
these off the top of my head but the Registrar got me to repeat after
her just incase I forgot them:). Unlikely but it equalled things out
because Sam hadn't even learned them as she would of forgot them for
sure anyway.
We had more photo's
taken and then got back in the car to come home.
Our reception comprised
of a buffet put on by Sam's granny. It was tasty and most of the
company was good too. The cake was homemade by me and went down well
with everyone. It was a lemon and vanilla sponge with white fondant
and smarties:)
The topper was the most expensive part at £7.50 from... Yes, eBay!
Sam stayed in her dress
for the whole thing but once again me being me and despite people
trying to convince me not to I got changed into track suit bottoms
and a hoody. Not out of place though because it says on it “OUT And
I'm Not Alone”.
After the buffet and
cake had been consumed or as much of it that could be, we tide it up
and kicked everyone out. Being a social hand grenade can be useful on
occasions.
There was no clearing
up to be done because Sam's Grandparents did it all to save us the
trouble.
We chilled out and at
around 9.30 p.m. we ordered a Dominoes Pizza:). Who says romance is
dead! We ate the rest of the buffet food over the next two to three
days, the cake however didn't last quite as long...
The “Honeymoon” has
been staying up most of the night watching movies and telly, eating
lots of junk food and sleeping very late. Now I've declared it over
and it's time to try and get life back in gear.
Has getting Civilly
Partnered/Married made a difference? Yes! We feel much closer now the
open door has closed behind us and we are locked in the room that is
our relationship. As the saying goes one door closes and another
opens. The door on insecurity and "singlehood" has
shut but the door to the rest of our life, ("married” life) is
wide open. There's no point in marking time, we need to march through
that now open door and conquer the lands that lay before us,
together, as a team!
To all those that
“don't believe in marriage/Civil Partnership” it's not the piece
of paper that makes you strong or that declares your love for each
other, that just certifies it. It's the action of making that legal
commitment by signing yourself into a forever contract. Yes, there is
a get out clause but if you focus on that your missing the whole
point and I ask you just don't bother getting hitched. Yes, there are
times when the clause should be used but it's like a fighter pilot's
ejector seat. They know it's there but they don't dwel on it.
Anyway, I hope you've
enjoyed this post and here are some photo's for you.
I'd like to say thank
you to the following people:
Sam for being silly
enough to marry me:)
Chris the photographer
for taking brilliant photo's:)
Lee for shooting a
great video:) (first shot is of me pulling up my under trousers)
Sam's Grandparents for
helping us get the house ready and sorting the buffet out.
My Aunt Lorraine and
Sam's dad for being witnesses
Last but in no
uncertain terms not least! Everyone who took the time to make our day
special with their attendance, cards, messages, posts and tweets.
They really did mean a lot.
If you were wondering, and it shouldn't have to be said but... No, I wasn't really bribed with money - it's real life not a soap opera.
The Registry Office
The Kiss
Sam"s Gran
Sam's Granddad
Sam, Electra & Me
Aunt Lorraine Signing The Register
Sam's Sister trying (poorly) to cross the cobbled road outside the registry office afterwards.
:)
The Forth Road Bridge outside the Registry office. (Lovely day!)
The Wedding Video:
There we go then! :)
Thanks everyone!
Apologise if I didn't post your photo!
If you're wondering where my family are, read my other posts! :)
I'm not normally one
for self pity, however, weather it's the winter blues or just a
collapse in self-belief I don't know.
I've started a new
drive to find employment. I've taken the fact I'm blind out of my CV,
so that can't go against me. But, I'm still getting nowhere, I know
there's something silly like 100+ candidates going for every job
that's advertised – it just seems like the world doesn't want me to
work at this time.
I'm not one for giving
up easily. When you've been out of education for seven years and no
“employment history” it does make you regret a few choices. The
first being, leaving school at sixteen thinking that you'd have an
equal chance in the employment market as any other sixteen-year-old.
Well why did you do it
if you regret it? Because, firstly I didn't know I was going to
regret it then or I'd not of done it. Secondly, at the time, I was
coming home from school to telephone interviews. My thinking at the
time was If I'm getting Telephone Interviews just now, it's only a
case of time before I get a face-to-face interview – and I did. I
had the grand total of five in the first two years.
Since these I've had
nothing other than a self induced sense of narcissistic self belief
and ability. Now, it's got to the point where the match sticks that
hold up this large ego are flexing and showing their weakness. It is
scary for someone like me to get to the point where they are
questioning their genuine position in life and my abilities. Will I
let these flexing slithers of wood break? Of course not, I'll ignore
the bending and splintering and carry on with life pricking myself on
the splinters every now and again to remind me that they are still
there.
What can I do? Give up?
Doing this serves no other purpose except declaring myself a failure.
Becoming one of the people in life that I dislike, the leaches of
society that don't try (even if it is futile). Some may say trying is
never futile, if you don't try you're name can't even be on the table
to be considered. When your name is on just about every recruiter's
desk (so it seems) trying feels like an effort filled step too far.
Why not go back to
education and make yourself more appealing to recruiters? This is
simple, I don't know what I want to do – other than, something.
You're not going to become a drifter are you? Not intentionally
anyway, I want to work doing something.
When you consider that
around seventy-five percent of blind people are unemployed it gives
you very little belief that the wall will ever fall. It's easy to
say, “people won't give me a job because I'm blind and they have a
stereotypical view of me because of my impairment.” but only one
percent of registered blind people are totally blind.
To summate, I feel like
I'm in a canyon and keep popping my head over the lip to find I'm
still in a desert. But, I keep marching on, catching myself upon
rocks every so often in hope I'll find an oasis – with the
obligatory mirages on the way.
Why are there laws for
drivers/riders but not pedestrians?
It is a driver's duty
to keep an eye out for people crossing; children playing at the side
of the road and other road users.
If two (or more)
vehicles crash, the police look for fault to make the right person
pay for the crime if one's been committed.
But, if a person is
knocked down because they weren't paying “due care and attention”
(providing they don't die) aren't convicted. If a person sustains
injuries because of poor clothing choices, they're not liable to the
same rules as a driver would be if they were to drive with no lights
on. If a cyclist cycles with headphones on and riders right over a
junctions with no change in speed to allow for something unexpected
to pop out; they're not punished.
My point is, why should
it be all up to drivers? We are responsible for our own actions, if
you choose to wear dark clothes it's your problem if you get hit by a
car at night. Humans have variable levels of vision but none are
known to have infra red capability. The driver my not have physical
injuries after a collision but most will suffer some sort of
psychological impact. Where is justice for them? Intension of causing
injury isn't there but a lack of duty of care to the driver's mental
well-being has been missed.
If a driver sadly dies
but is at fault, they're not convicted. Why shouldn't this apply to a
pedestrian? Maybe, just maybe, if pedestrians were accountable for
their own actions – people would take more care crossing roads, in
their choices of clothing and overall behaviour around roads.
My suggestions might
seem mad, but if we are all tide by laws that make us take more care,
surely this will make roads safer for all users?
If you have a ship
controlled by a blind person and another my a sighted person, what
one is at fault if they collide. The weather is perfect, both vessels
are in top working order and there's no mitigating circumstances
other than, one ship has no eyes looking out?
Exactly, the one with
eyes looking for risk factors.
But, the sighted
captained doesn't know there's nobody looking out.
If there was a sighted
person looking out on both vessels, then they could both take actions
– change course or speed to avoid the incident.
My point isn't about
blind people not being in control of sea going craft but, two alert
people can make changes to their behaviours to avoid an incident.
An important thing
about coming out is, it is different for everyone but there will be
similarities for us all!
1) Unless you're ready
to come out, don't even try it!
2) Once you are ready,
make sure you could survive with nobody. It's unlikely to happen, but
it does. I always say prepare for the worse hope for the best and
you'll land somewhere in between. It's hard to loose people at
anytime of your life. However, it's not as bad if you expect it.
When I came out, I did
it in a sneaky way. I told my sister knowing she'd tell my mum. In
turn who would tell my dad. This is how it went. When my dad and I
were in the car going to a football match (soccer) he asked me about
it. At 70 mph going along the motorway there's not too many options
for escape, I did the grown up thing and denied it and said it must
have been a figment of my mum's imagination. He took this and said no
more.
A few weeks, maybe
months after I e-mailed him explaining it all. At first he was scared
for me, unsure where that left his identity and our relationship.
I reassured him that I
was the same person, still thought he was a knob like any child
thinks of their parents and happy to take his money:).
I wont deny, it also
took a lot of hard work for both of us to restore our relationship.
But it was never the same. Not because there was an elephant in the
room but because there were no more secrets. I've been lucky, very
lucky, coming out has brought my dad and I closer. Our relationship
is better by far than what it was in the past.
Telling people,
make sure that you're in control of how fast people find out.
If you know somebody
will open their mouth by accident or not, don't tell them! Start with
the one person that will never leave you until you die, yourself.
Tell yourself that you're Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender. See
how it feels when you call yourself this.
Tell your family
first. But who do I tell first? If you know you're family well,
choose the person who will react the worst. This sounds really
backward, they'll freakout, go nuts tell nobody. But with any luck
it will make a bad feeling between you that others will pick up on.
When people ask 'what's wrong?”, that's your chance to tell them.
You want the bad feeling from the other person, so the unknowing
person will be inclined to automatically sympathise with you. Once
you tell them, it will be harder emotionally for that person to be
against you, unless they're homophobic in the first place. If this
goes as planned you've then got a team mate! Tell the Next person,
and the next and the next.
5) Ultimately it's your
life, live it as you see fit. As long as it's not illegal and your
safe. Let people judge. It doesn't mean you have to accept their
verdict.
If anyone says this way is bad and so are the mind games that are invovled, please take not of the title before putting it down.
I use “God” to mean
a life force or being that is the patron of something like, Dionysus
with wine and partying or Hera with home and marriage. Not just the
Bible God.
God is an abstract
being. The belief in God is shared by many. To all those that believe
in God he is real but is interpreted differently as is his
manifestation.
Love is an emotion, an
abstract. It is only real to those that have experienced it. Love is
shared by many and they believe in it. There's people in the world
that don't know what love is, and don't believe it's true because
they've never experienced it.
In both cases God and
love, just because a person doesn't believe in it doesn't make it any
less valid for the people that do.
I can't hold up a photo
graph of God and say this is God. I can show you a photo of me
practicing my beliefs and say This is how I show God is real to me. I
can show you a photo of me and my soon to be wife battering lumps out
of each other for a laugh and you'd not think we “love” each
other. However, if I show you us on our wedding day holding hands and
sharing a kiss, it'd be a different story. For us love is present in
both photo's. But, in both you can't see love. You see what signs of
love we share. Context is a massive part in life.
If you have to preach a
faith or love it doesn't make it anymore real for none believers. It
only validates it more in the minds of those that believe in it. If
anything it widens the gap between people that don't share a faith –
(weather it be, they don't have one or have a different one).
Faith hinders true
human equality, if we didn't have a multitude of faiths then we'd all
be equal. But, we do have many faiths, as humans we need to work on
equality regardless of our own faith. Stop throwing mud at other
humans that have different beliefs from us. Slamming a Christian
because they believe homosexuality isn't equality. It's in equality.
Equality allows us all to have our own thoughts, feelings and
personalities. By virtue, if you slam someone for their thoughts etc
you're stopping them having equality. You may not agree with their
opinions and wish to find out more about their bases. However, it
doesn't make their choices any less valid than yours. We are all
humans, we are all different. Equality is all about being different
and not being judged upon those differences. At least that's what it
means to me. It may not be the dictionary definition but the
dictionary is a rule book for words. Language is fluid like it moves
and develops new directions.
For true equality we
don't need faiths but we need to embrace the fact that everyone has
their own version of faith.
So, with no further ado, here are the “inspired” questions I put to Under A Banner and Adam's very open responses.
Q: Who would you consider yourself to be similar to, or are you that alternative that you can't size yourselves up against any mainstream artists?
“We have been variously compared to Frank Turner, The Levellers and New
Model Army to name just a few. I'm aware of the last two (we've even
supported N.M.A) but, still to this day, I've never heard any Frank
Turner. I always tell people we're a mostly acoustic blend of what we feel
has been the best alternative music of the last 40 or so years.”
Q: Other than general life and your emotions, who or what inspires your music?
“Nature in all its majesty is a big inspiration, as are politics, people
and thousands of other emotions and abstractions. I respond lyrically to
anything and everything that's worthy.”
Q: Do you feel as a two person band you're taken any less serious?
“Although Jonny and I are the core of the band, we almost always, play as
a full band, with electric as well as acoustic instruments. These include
guitars, keys and violin.”
Q: What are your musical aspirations; do you want to headline at a major music festival or is it all about the music not the “being known” that's important?
“Whilst it is primarily about the music, we'd love to play some big
music festivals and large venues around the world. The chief ambition is
to play music for a living.”
Q: Time for a cheesy one! If you could perform with anyone either live or recorded, whom would you choose and why?
“Honestly, I'd love to perform with a 10 piece orchestra like one of my
favourite bands Ambrozijn. I'd also like to record with the
backing of celtic harpists and an Indonesian Gamelan orchestra!”
Q: Finally, what special message have you got for the world?
“I think that artists with special moral messages sometimes have
questionable motives; they sometimes share these to assuage their guilt.
It would be arrogant of me to try and tell people how to behave. It would
be great if folks could just be nice to one another. Beyond that, eat
fresh fruit and veg, read a lot and listen to Under A Banner ;)”
Brilliant answers, and hopefully the questions weren't to cheesy.
To find out where Under A Banner are playing and hear some of their great music head to their website, NOW!
They frequently Tweet freebie tracks and links to their great work too - @UnderABanner. They're now on Facebook too.
The aim is to have no rhyme, I was board and thought why not try a little LGBTQIA and the rest of the letter poetry, to fill out this Sunday evening - here's my attempts
