New Year, Old Me!

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My desires for this year are few in number but perhaps more challanging and if I achieve them all, the significance would be inordinate. Here they are:

1) Make It To 2019

Although it’s primarily my daily occupation to keep myself alive, it’s also down to you all to help me do this one. I’ll do the critical parts like breathing and that kinda thing (as much as I can) and if you peeps could just try not killing me, that would be sweet. :)

2) Try To See My Tailwinds

It’s often easier to see our headwinds, the things that slow us down, and not to see our tailwinds, the things that give us positive boosts. But this year I want to try and be more aware of the good things I’ve got. This morning, 6^th of Jan, I woke up after a night of bizarre dreams all clammy – I woke up √; in a bed √; in my own bed √; inside a weather-proof building √; warm √; safe √; with the same health as I went to sleep with √ and knowing today I could do potentially anything I wanted to do - with in my abilities and reality √. These are things that we often take for granted. However, not everyone has the fortune of having.

3) To Benefit From Therapy

Completion is simple I go, sit down and talk for 50 minutes. Benefitting and working with the therapist to improve my psychological and psychiatric health is a different story. For someone who could be described, fairly, as tenacious and perhaps somewhat stubborn this could be more difficult. My therapist is a good match from what I’ve felt so far. I believe it’s more than achievable.

4) To Complete 3 Extremes

This one is slightly more difficult but only due to logistics. I want to complete:

• A skydive

• A scuba dive to a wreck

• An ascent of Beinn Nibheis (Ben Nevis)

Air, land and sea not in that order necessarily but those three extremes. If you or someone you know can help please drop me a message.

5) To Improve My Gàidhlig

Going over and over my Ùlpan material is one way to reinforce and relearn the stuff I’ve already been taught. However, I’m going to try to set time aside to put the Beurla away and build upon this with the help of online, radio and TV from the BBC. Of course, if the local authority runs a level 2 Ùlpan course that would be fìor mhath! There are also some conversational groups knocking around which I would like to get to – after all, I don’t want to be a Gàidhlig Manuel - here's a clip if you don’t get the reference.

6) Self Mobilise

It’s been years since I had any need to get out on my own. I’ve come to believe this is something I can’t do anymore. I know this is not true and comes from a place of fear. Even if it is once a month I will get out on my own. Even if it is to the end of the block. Even if I get lost and need Sam to come find me. Even if I am terrified and it’s the last day of the month and I’ve put it off everyday. I will do this. Even if in my head completing ambition #4 seems way easier and more doable in reality. I used to have more sight but still not a lot and did so much more than I do now. I’ve learned to fear everything – I want to unlearn omnifear and reduce it to logifear. Fear should be a reaction not a reason. Action should succeed reason not reaction.

Realistically, all these are theoretically achievable. However, realistically it’s probable they wont all be achieved. The first step is always to success or failure and we never know which until we arrive.

 BRING IT ON!