Time For A Third, World War?

So, we've forgotten about North Korea for this week and turned our attention back to Syria.

With Hezbollah now getting involved and the conflict looking like it could spill out of the Syrian boarders into surrounding countries. Is a Third world war a possibility?

If the Syrian Government are allowing Hezbollah to fight along side them it is almost certain that it won't be long before Iran pipes up and tries to join in. After all, there's strong links between Hezbollah and the Iranian Government.

We've already seen air-strikes from Israel on targets inside Syria. We all know what great buddies Israel are with Iran and other Muslim states. I'm speculating that Israel aren't going to let Iranian forces move in next door and let them be. So this then gives the U.S. A reason to back up their mates the Israelis.

At this point the rest of NATO will be breathed into the zone.

Before going into Iraq, the main intel that got the U.S. Interested came from the French – or at least an informant of the french intel services. It later turned out he was speaking out of a muscular ring between his lower cheeks. Admittedly, it also came out later that the C.I.A didn't look at the statements from him as well as they could. We already have the French confirming the use of chemical weapons by the Syrian state against the people – which was one of the “red lines” both the UK and the U.S. Said they'd not tolerate. So, I'm not saying they're wrong against they've been the primary informant if you wish to the U.S. Who's interest has surely got to be greater now. After all, the set limits and stick by them.

But, it's all over there isn't it? For the first few months maybe.

Remember, when we talk about war with Israel and Iran all common-sense is lost. It becomes a war of religion. Unlike two children fighting in the playground we know Iran would be happier without Israel around. We suspect Iran has a plan to make nucular weapons for this purpose. We know that Israel has nuclear capability.

We also know the Russians are happy to feed the war and so are China. China and Russia also back North Korea who are against the South Koreans who are backed by the U.S.

Even if the U.S. Can, keep their fingers off of any weapons trigger – there eye will be off the ball when it comes to North Korea. Times have changed dramatically, I know! Let's not forget though, the only reason the U.S. Got involved in WWII is because of the Japanese hitting Pearl Harbour. With two states (Iran and North Korea) itching for a fight with the U.S. I can't see them leaving them be at peace.

So, we have on team A (Allies)

Israel+NATO

Team B (Bad Guys)

Syria+Iran+N Korea+Russia+China+A lot of other Islamic States

The interesting country will be Turkey – they are friendly with the U.S. But are far from friendly with the Israelis.

Even if we're sat at home feelings of safety because it's so far away “abroad”. Let's not forget what weapons Team B are happy to use. Their own bodies loaded with explosives, small firearms and bladed objects.

The number of extremists is “low” but how long will it be before that changes. Religion is thicker than blood. Once they see their own being killed it's only time before they take action from the inside.

Nobody, feels safe. Everyone suspects everyone, don't forget white, black, brown and all other colours of people can be any faith they choose.

It might seem very unlikely but let's not forget also – the Syrian war and the Bahrain protests are both based on religion!

If it doesn't go as described above I can almost say the “Teams” will be exactly as above in the third world war.

Independence & Disability

It may be my negative mind at work once more or it may just be me taking a step back and asking a question nobody else will.

Can disabled persons be TRUELY independent?

I can only speak for myself, with my disabilities. However – I'd say no.

The dictionary defines independent as:

“1.Free from outside control; not depending on another's authority”

“2. Not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.”

Can a blind person get up in the morning (or anytime of day to suit) – get themselves to work completely on their own, with no additional communication? 

I don't think they can. Weather it's asking a bus driver to let you off at a certain stop or calling for a taxi, when a sighted person could drive/learn to (presuming they don't have any other impairments). This is in the perfect world where every blind person has a job and the bus drivers always remember to stop and let the blind person know a) that they are a bus, and b) which number they are.

So, we're at work now. Can a blind person walk in off of the street into any office, with just the clothes they're wearing? No, they most likely need specialist software or devices in some instances. Of course unless we're talking about a job that is specifically created for the person's needs such as braille proof reader or something. Yes, some jobs don't involve computers all be it an ever unlikely situation where that is true. So, we look at a less tech driven job. Can a speaker or a personal trainer get from place-to-place by driving or public transport totally solo? No, they need a driver or additional communication.

...We've finished our mornings work in the office or being a gym queen with our Personal Assistant making sure the client isn't going to drop a load of free-weights on their chest causing them to suffocate... It's lunch time! We have three options here.

1. Bring food in (packed lunch).
2. Get something from a local store.
3. Join our workmates for lunch somewhere.
   So, option 1 is easy right? Nope, it has exactly the same problem as option number 2. You may be able to find the shop with your cane or dog - but, you can't find what you want in the shop. So... you have to do the “independent” thing and ask? That's right you're independently asking for help to buy the food you need to live. I've been unfair here, and presumed you've not done you're shopping online and had it delivered by a person who will tell you what everything is because you can't see it.
   With option 3. You'd be reliant on a co-worker reading a menu to you and guiding you to a table at the very least. That's presuming you know where you're going to from your office and you're also fine with finding the toilets when you're there.
   … Now we've been to work and got home and cooked dinner.
   How did we cook dinner? We used a recipe (probably not from an off the shelf Waterstones book) or possibly our memory. We may have used a talking jug or talking scales – maybe even a talking microwave. We didn't use a off the shelf jug or digital or even analogue scales. We could possibly have used a standard off the shelf microwave presuming it's had bump-ons attached to it.
   Of course there is always the other option of ready meals... But, they all have different cooking and standing times. Some you put in for a minute; take out; stir; do a slow waltz before putting them back in for another three days others you stick in for ten minutes, ping, done! You get the idea. So, once again, you'd have to ask someone to read these instructions for you and put some sort of mark on the “identical to the next” box to allow you to discriminate between them and their cooking requirements.
   Medication, not a problem at all these days! it's got braille on most of it. Oh! but the prescription... It needs a bit of box ticking. What will we do? Yes, “independently” ask for someone sighted to do it! If we drop a pill and can't find it we? Leave it for the vacuum cleaner or someone sighted, possibly our dogb to find it.
   Cup of something before bed? Kettles boiled “click” - grab a cup, milk and whatever else you need for said drink. STOP! Before tipping scolding hot water into a cup – don't forget your liquid level indicator to tell you when to stop pooring - to prevent spillage and/or injury.

Now, we're in bed! Yes, that's right - you're lucky enough to be in bed with me! Nice, comfy, warm and safe. See you in the morning and you can read the post that someone sent to me.

Sure, we're all limited in one way or another but there's an average that is given. A non mechanic may need a mechanic to repair their vehicle. We all have our specialities, but you can't really claim to be “independent” if you need help with routine tasks. If you're disabled, by the nature of the word – you are dis-abled from doing “standard” things. This is not to say you're incapable of living a “normal” life with certain restrictions or help. However, you are not independent.

The reason for writing this post – isn't to slam those that try their best to lead a full, wholesome and intergrated life; but to tell people to stop pretending independence is achievable with a disability - or at least my disability!

As a child, I was told I could achieve anything I wanted – I could be like my sighted friends. That is of course, unless I wanted a fancy car that I could get in trouble with by driving at silly speeds; if I wanted to join the military or go back-packing around the world (without a rifle). There's many other examples of what I couldn't/can't do, that you and my sighted friends could/can. I'm not going to list them all because – well, what purpose does it serve...?

Just be very mindful, when you tell someone they can be as great like …... because nobody is the same. I can't be Joan of Arc – you're child can't be the next Beckham. I'm not saying aspirations are a waste of time, I'm saying we're all different and by virtue of that we can never be the same as anyone else. We can aspire to be as good as we can be. If not so, Hitler should feel ashamed, he was nowhere near as “evil” as Genghis Khan and Beckham is not nearly as good as me at reading braille upside down with one hand. I am as good at writing as myself and possibly better than a few others but not nearly as good as another few.

Be yourself and don't pretend to be something you're not or that others wish you to be. Most of all don't give others false hope - things simply might not get better.

Bedroom Tax - Shu'up!

Some may say it's because I'm stupid or a Tory voter, some may say that those aren't exclusive, but regardless – I think the “Bedroom Tax” is a good thing.

Firstly it's not a tax. They're just reducing the level of Housing Benefit [HB] you receive in the first place not removing it post payment.

I am a benefit claimant, I am disabled (but not exempt), I am already a 'victim' of the changes that mean I'll receive less Employment And Support Allowance [EASE] and I live in a two bedroom flat which is occupied by my 'wife', my Guide Dog and me.

The only reason we live in a two bedroom flat is because, we need the garden for the dog. Previously we were in a 9^th floor flat in an area which wasn't ideal. The dog was attacked twice within six months of getting her. This flat was the first that was offered to us, so naturally we took it. We didn't know about the fore coming changes to HB and the rest of the DWP benefits, neither did anyone else.

If we had, we still would of took it because we just needed to move.

Since moving we've done the place up to a reasonable standard at a cost to ourselves. However, we've decided once the dog retires we'll move to a one bedroom place.

Yes, it is our choice; yes, some people won't want to move; yes, some people do think they are entitled to two bedrooms because that's what they're given. But, is it fair to keep a family with children waiting longer than needed for suitable accommodation so they can be comfortable rather than living on top of each another? No! It's not. A single person or a couple can live in a one bedroom place easily. You don't need a spare bedroom/room for any other purpose.

Our spare room is used as an alter room along with our treadmill. We could quite easily put an alter in the living room when we need/want to use it. The treadmill is so I can go for a run without a guide and without damaging local street lighting; poled signage and other street furniture. So, if I don't have that will I get fat and be miserable with no outlook on the future? No, I'll just have to go out more, which for me is a good thing but also difficult as I struggle with anxiety. Rather than sitting inside with the internet, I'll be forced to go out to the shops if I want to keep in shape or get a guide runner.

Anyway, as usual I digress some what.

The other thing to remember is that local authority housing is subsidised to varying extents across the country. Locally it's around the 40%.. No, not everyone lives in social housing because there's not enough of it. They live in privately rented accommodation with landlords that buy, often, specifically with the intent on renting to DWP claimants. They know the rules and they know exactly what they can charge. In addition, there are some people that rent properties in pricey areas because they know the Government will unquestionably pick up the tab. Don't full yourself and say there isn't because I considered doing just that and I can't be the only one nationwide.

So, this leaves people that have chosen to take on a tenancy in a pricey area that had no choice. But didn't they have a choice? Travelling is tiring when done over great distances by horse and foot, yes. But, in today's world we have something known generally as public transport. “It's expensive though!” - here I must say, I have a blind person's travelcard that entitles me to free travel around Scotland; and free travel by bus with a companion and I have used this entitlement. Should I be given such an entitlement? That's a different post. However, the key to all cost arguments is budgeting.

“Some people can't budget!” - that stands to reason a baby can't walk but they can learn to. If the child wants something they learn to ask for it or they go without it. Same for people in life, if you budget you can afford things and if you can't budget your life is always wanting. Alternatively you go and get credit and lose track of the total borrowed and wonder why you're getting hassled for money. So, learn how to budget and you'll be able to travel – admittedly maybe not as often as you'd like to but it's a like not a need.

With people who genuinely need something the help is out there all be it very disjointed and often not very visible. With all things in life you need to be proactive to achieve anything.

So, back to my point, again. You could move somewhere the rent prices are less. Even if you can only get to see your family once a week or once a fortnight, rather than daily or weekly. In addition to public transport in today's insane world we have computers and now even telephones that don't require a landline, known as cellular or mobile telephones. You could keep in contact with either of these devices in any form. Slightly less high tech, but you could write to them. I know not everyone can read and write, due to dyslexia and not being taught etc. Once again there's classes out there for people to learn how to read and write if they've slipped through the educational net.

To say, you can't move because of family is not an excuse in my book. This again could be because I don't really talk to my family. But the one's I do talk to, I use talk to mean communicate with generally, I do it by SMS text message, Skype, e-mail or, wait for it... phone! My family live everywhere from Dundee and Darton to Demam in Saudi Arabia. I don't get to see them nearly as often as I'd like to, partly because of cost and partly due to other factors.

The other excuse that isn't really viable is “all my friends are here”. They weren't always your friend, and a good friend will stay in touch. Once again maybe not as often as you'd like but they do stay connected.

Work, is another reason for a choice in location. See my previous about travel. Also if you are still requiring support to meet your basic needs, is it really worthwhile working? Some may say of course it is, it gives me a better quality of life. Does it? Working all day for money that you're not going to see most of and then complaining about it is better? If you're able to enjoy your money fully, then why do you claim benefits?

I hate not working, but I love the fact I can live my life for me. I'm also massively grateful for the financial support I receive from the state but in some respects the owe me, but for legal reasons I can't go into that matter.

Basically, if you can't budget and your pay won't support your property costs, move and commute. If that's not possible Just try budgeting and if that doesn't work, maybe it's time for you to look hard at what's best for you.

Claiming benefits, isn't always a good thing. It can cause life wastage and boredom, but only if you're not smart enough to keep a tab on your own life path.

In all life decisions you must come first. Not what other people might think. Then once you've decided what's right for you then you've got to look at what's best for society. Is it cost effective to keep someone in a two bedroom property, that can live in a one bed fifteen miles away. This person also suffers from depression that is medicated, this medication is provided free to the person at the cost of the NHS. They're depressed in this case because of money. They work really hard but don't achieve anything other than debt. Change is hard in life, I know this from a first hand point.

So, work, friends and family have been sorted.

“I can't move because my wife/husband is ill and we need the extra room for me to stay in and look after them.” As crass as I'm going to sound here think about it.

If it's terminal, you're not going to need that room in the long term. They'll be gone and then you're still going to have to pay for the extra room.

If you can't be in the same bed as them, get another bed for yourself, if there's not enough room for one without putting it in another room – your current bed is too big for that room as it is. The alternative is get a camp bed. They make them pretty comfy these days. As a 16-year-old I changed my bed for a camp bed because it gave me a better night sleep. The latest one I've bought (I have a fixed bed now) is still more comfortable than my bed but I don't have a camp bed because luckily, I can share a bed with my “wife” although she'd love the camp beds rather than a fixed bed we'd miss out on the intimacy of cuddles and sleep fighting. This however, isn't an issue if you medically can't share a bed.

Once again, I know it may come over as crass etc but it's pure logic.

Now, let's come to the people in life that can't support themselves because of budgeting incapability. These people could be dealt with by the government in the same way as the aboriginal people in Australia. The aboriginal people didn't have alcohol or other drugs until us British introduced them to it. GENERALIZATION ALERT!: Since then they've had an issue with it. The state realised the money they were giving them was only fuelling that set of problems - to assist them. They basically said: “we'll pay you on a piece of plastic like a bank card and you can only use it for certain things and we'll teach you how to make your money work”. So, in our country this wouldn't help the incapable but it'd limit the stuff they can waste their money on. They also gave them additional benefits like clothing allowances and the such operated differently. Never the less, they stopped giving them cash in it's hardest form. Which reduced the issue.

If you can't live like an adult on the money your AWARDED by the state, should you really be given a free rein with the rest of your life? Controversial I know but I'm not here to dress my words up, just to get my ideas, thoughts and feelings out in the world.

Unless you're a hard working, completely self sustaining individual, contributing to the national economy by paying taxes complaining doesn't do anything except make you look like a money grabber to those that are hit by taxes. It's also not productive. Admittedly, I don't know if all these changes will make the slightest difference in the long term, neither does anyone else, but what I do know is we're British and we'd not have a DWP that pays benefits if we as a nation hadn't suffered in the past. Suck it up and go without if needed and just remember, that 50” flat screen you have is worth something. If you want a 50” flat screen cheap but reasonable priced chat to the person the previous comment was directed at. Or... save up, it might take months or years, but then you've got the sense of achievement of saving. Don't forget to shop around and there's frequent sales.

Please feel free to come back at me, challenge my views and call me a prick if you must but that shows something about you.

How I Get Around The World - Virtually Anyway...

I’ve been asked on many occasions: “If you’re blind how can you read this” and other similar variations of the question, and if you don’t know what they are referring to by “this” they mean text online.

I use a couple of methods. I will ever use a magnifier and the remaining sight I’ve got in my eye. Or, I use a built in native screen reading software on the iOS platform. The software is called VoiceOver and is available at no 006xtra charge on all iOS devices. It can be accessed by going down the following path:

Settings > General > Accessibility > VoiceOver

I’d suggest you read the operation instructions before trying it because the touch commands are slightly different.

Anyway – I use VO on my iPhone to read Tweets and to reply along with all the other things you can do on Twitter.

If I am on my computer I tend to just use the 'left overs' of my sight.

I prefer using the computer to the phone because I can type a lot faster. But, with my phone it saves me getting sore and tired eyes.

If I am doing anything longer than a brief e-mail, text or Tweet I just relent and use a computer.

To me this post is a very boring one but I’m sure for many people it will answer lots of questions.

I do the whole tech thing like everything else I do, in a way best to suit me. Some other blind/Severely visually impaired people may just use a magnifier or just a screen reader.

A screen reader; is a piece of software that reads everything on the screen. It identifies things like, links, images and other such landmarks.

You can get screen readers for PCs and Macs but I like to see what I can. As long as I have some sight, I’m reluctant to use VoiceOver on my iMac. Not only would it reduce my browsing experience, it would use up too much additional brain power. Or, in the beginning it would.

I have a basic know how to see me through if the worst did happen but, here’s hopeful that I’ll never have to.

Why have an iMac/iPhone if you can’t see all the flashiness. Simple the cost of a normal none Apple device with an equivalent screen reader would cost the same give or take a few pound. With the none apple devices and the third party software there’s the problem of system vs software conflicts and software vs software conflicts. When a piece of software is designed and run on a machine with the exact software designed for that machine that pouch of problems isn’t there.

I hope this helps and please feel more than free to contact me, via this, twitter or my webpage with any relevant questions. (http://www.pipa-riggs.wix.com/home)

Proving The Differences Between Nomo's & Homo's

The pro's of proving scientifically there's a physical difference between the brains of hetrosexual and homosexuals are:

The first is obvious, we will know that it is not a matter of choice because very few if any humans or animals can consciously control the development of their neuropaths. This would then make it harder for people to justify homophobia.

Secondly, it would then give us a bases to research the causes and ultimately to see if it is genetical or not. Thereby, reinforcing or not the case of if it's choice or not.

Additionally, if anyone thought they were homosexual they could be “tested” for it. The risk of testing would me that it makes it more of an “illness” but if it was approached in the same way as intelligence with the IQ test then maybe not. This however leads away from the neurology and genetics and into the field of psychology. With many things in psychology they aren't solidly defined and the “choice” argument could creep in. I doubt though, that anyone would “choose” to be clinically retarded nor would they choose to be in a minority (homosexual). Yes, homosexuality could be seen as a negative thing still but at least there would be a marked and defined difference in thought processes and such. How practical this would be I don't know.

The downsides are:

That if there is not actually a difference it will reinforce the choice opinion and help justify homophobia.

However, if there is a difference that isn't genetical and is due to the way homosexuals are brought up. It could lead to abuse of children, young adults and adults that take solace in religions because they find it difficult to understand their feelings.

The people that come out when they are older may then feel worse for not knowing who they were before.

The Wedding - The Last Post

The “Honeymoon” has been brought to a close by me.

This morning I dragged my butt out of bed after a disturbing choice to voluntarily watch Jeremy Kyle. If you don't know what this is Imagine Ricky Lake but with a male host and a slight increase in civility. If that fails to help you, look it up on YouTube.

So, you want the low-down on the Wedding... Here we go then...

I got up at around 9 a.m.and Sam at 11 a.m. - overall it took us about an hour to an hour and a half to get ready.

We did our own hair and make-up, somehow, everyone failed to point out a unblended patch under my eye. Never mind, we noticed it in the photo's afterwards and that's the main thing right?

My aunt doubled as our chauffeur and our witness. No, she doesn't have the big fancy limo we were planning on but after doing some research, we found that the operators were...pricks! A 2 hour hire was going to cost say £200 as soon as we mentioned the word "wedding" it increased by 50% to a 100%. I could go on a rant here about capitalists and taking advantage of a special day but I shan't. Instead our ride was a very clean and comfortable, gold Renault Cleo.

The only issue was when we got out and Sam came to guide me, I'd already started to move off and she accidentally stood on my dress nearly pulling it down (off). Once I'd regrouped we met with the rest of the “party” and headed in. After being offered a £1,000 to not go through with it and to go away for ever breaking Sam's heart (which I declined) we double checked everything with the Registrar and went through to the “ceremony room”.

On our way through, we had some photo's taken on a little landing leading up to the town museum against a banerstrade. The banerstrade was made from wood and a little creaky, me being me, I turned to Sam and asked;: Babe, will this hold your weight”. Yes, I got laughs but I also got a smack from Sam, still unsure why...

Once everyone else and the dog had their photo's taken on the same little bit we waited a few extra minutes just incase any of the people from Facebook or Twitter that'd been invited were running late (but none turned up). And then...

The bells tolled on our single life (living together) and the key was put in the door of “marriage”. Word by word it turned in the lock, before long the door was open and we walked through it to congratulations from family (in person) and friends (on twitter, Facebook and by text).

Our vowels went like this:

“I promise you loyalty and friendship, and to love you with all that I am and all that I can be. I promise you this from the depth of my heart and mind, for all our life together.”

Then for the exchange of the rings, we went for;

“I give you this ring as a sign of our partnership. All that I am I give to you, All that I have I share with you, for the whole of our life together.”

I was good to recite these off the top of my head but the Registrar got me to repeat after her just incase I forgot them:). Unlikely but it equalled things out because Sam hadn't even learned them as she would of forgot them for sure anyway.

We had more photo's taken and then got back in the car to come home.

Our reception comprised of a buffet put on by Sam's granny. It was tasty and most of the company was good too. The cake was homemade by me and went down well with everyone. It was a lemon and vanilla sponge with white fondant and smarties:)

The topper was the most expensive part at £7.50 from... Yes, eBay!

Sam stayed in her dress for the whole thing but once again me being me and despite people trying to convince me not to I got changed into track suit bottoms and a hoody. Not out of place though because it says on it “OUT And I'm Not Alone”.

After the buffet and cake had been consumed or as much of it that could be, we tide it up and kicked everyone out. Being a social hand grenade can be useful on occasions.

There was no clearing up to be done because Sam's Grandparents did it all to save us the trouble.

We chilled out and at around 9.30 p.m. we ordered a Dominoes Pizza:). Who says romance is dead! We ate the rest of the buffet food over the next two to three days, the cake however didn't last quite as long...

The “Honeymoon” has been staying up most of the night watching movies and telly, eating lots of junk food and sleeping very late. Now I've declared it over and it's time to try and get life back in gear.

Has getting Civilly Partnered/Married made a difference? Yes! We feel much closer now the open door has closed behind us and we are locked in the room that is our relationship. As the saying goes one door closes and another opens. The door on insecurity and "singlehood" has shut but the door to the rest of our life, ("married” life) is wide open. There's no point in marking time, we need to march through that now open door and conquer the lands that lay before us, together, as a team!

To all those that “don't believe in marriage/Civil Partnership” it's not the piece of paper that makes you strong or that declares your love for each other, that just certifies it. It's the action of making that legal commitment by signing yourself into a forever contract. Yes, there is a get out clause but if you focus on that your missing the whole point and I ask you just don't bother getting hitched. Yes, there are times when the clause should be used but it's like a fighter pilot's ejector seat. They know it's there but they don't dwel on it.

Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed this post and here are some photo's for you.

I'd like to say thank you to the following people:

Sam for being silly enough to marry me:)

Chris the photographer for taking brilliant photo's:)

Lee for shooting a great video:) (first shot is of me pulling up my under trousers)

Sam's Grandparents for helping us get the house ready and sorting the buffet out.

My Aunt Lorraine and Sam's dad for being witnesses

Last but in no uncertain terms not least! Everyone who took the time to make our day special with their attendance, cards, messages, posts and tweets. They really did mean a lot.

If you were wondering, and it shouldn't have to be said but... No, I wasn't really bribed with money - it's real life not a soap opera. 

The Registry Office

The Kiss

Sam"s Gran

Sam's Granddad

Sam, Electra & Me

Aunt Lorraine Signing The Register

 Sam's Sister trying (poorly) to cross the cobbled road outside the registry office afterwards.
 :)

The Forth Road Bridge outside the Registry office. (Lovely day!)

The Wedding Video:

There we go then! :)
Thanks everyone!

Apologise if I didn't post your photo!

If you're wondering where my family are, read my other posts! :)

Employment Wanted

I'm not normally one for self pity, however, weather it's the winter blues or just a collapse in self-belief I don't know.

I've started a new drive to find employment. I've taken the fact I'm blind out of my CV, so that can't go against me. But, I'm still getting nowhere, I know there's something silly like 100+ candidates going for every job that's advertised – it just seems like the world doesn't want me to work at this time.

I'm not one for giving up easily. When you've been out of education for seven years and no “employment history” it does make you regret a few choices. The first being, leaving school at sixteen thinking that you'd have an equal chance in the employment market as any other sixteen-year-old.

Well why did you do it if you regret it? Because, firstly I didn't know I was going to regret it then or I'd not of done it. Secondly, at the time, I was coming home from school to telephone interviews. My thinking at the time was If I'm getting Telephone Interviews just now, it's only a case of time before I get a face-to-face interview – and I did. I had the grand total of five in the first two years.

Since these I've had nothing other than a self induced sense of narcissistic self belief and ability. Now, it's got to the point where the match sticks that hold up this large ego are flexing and showing their weakness. It is scary for someone like me to get to the point where they are questioning their genuine position in life and my abilities. Will I let these flexing slithers of wood break? Of course not, I'll ignore the bending and splintering and carry on with life pricking myself on the splinters every now and again to remind me that they are still there.

What can I do? Give up? Doing this serves no other purpose except declaring myself a failure. Becoming one of the people in life that I dislike, the leaches of society that don't try (even if it is futile). Some may say trying is never futile, if you don't try you're name can't even be on the table to be considered. When your name is on just about every recruiter's desk (so it seems) trying feels like an effort filled step too far.

Why not go back to education and make yourself more appealing to recruiters? This is simple, I don't know what I want to do – other than, something. You're not going to become a drifter are you? Not intentionally anyway, I want to work doing something.

When you consider that around seventy-five percent of blind people are unemployed it gives you very little belief that the wall will ever fall. It's easy to say, “people won't give me a job because I'm blind and they have a stereotypical view of me because of my impairment.” but only one percent of registered blind people are totally blind.

To summate, I feel like I'm in a canyon and keep popping my head over the lip to find I'm still in a desert. But, I keep marching on, catching myself upon rocks every so often in hope I'll find an oasis – with the obligatory mirages on the way.

Road Safety - Why's The Driver The Scape-goat?

Why are there laws for drivers/riders but not pedestrians?

It is a driver's duty to keep an eye out for people crossing; children playing at the side of the road and other road users.

If two (or more) vehicles crash, the police look for fault to make the right person pay for the crime if one's been committed.

But, if a person is knocked down because they weren't paying “due care and attention” (providing they don't die) aren't convicted. If a person sustains injuries because of poor clothing choices, they're not liable to the same rules as a driver would be if they were to drive with no lights on. If a cyclist cycles with headphones on and riders right over a junctions with no change in speed to allow for something unexpected to pop out; they're not punished.

My point is, why should it be all up to drivers? We are responsible for our own actions, if you choose to wear dark clothes it's your problem if you get hit by a car at night. Humans have variable levels of vision but none are known to have infra red capability. The driver my not have physical injuries after a collision but most will suffer some sort of psychological impact. Where is justice for them? Intension of causing injury isn't there but a lack of duty of care to the driver's mental well-being has been missed.

If a driver sadly dies but is at fault, they're not convicted. Why shouldn't this apply to a pedestrian? Maybe, just maybe, if pedestrians were accountable for their own actions – people would take more care crossing roads, in their choices of clothing and overall behaviour around roads.

My suggestions might seem mad, but if we are all tide by laws that make us take more care, surely this will make roads safer for all users?

If you have a ship controlled by a blind person and another my a sighted person, what one is at fault if they collide. The weather is perfect, both vessels are in top working order and there's no mitigating circumstances other than, one ship has no eyes looking out?

Exactly, the one with eyes looking for risk factors.

But, the sighted captained doesn't know there's nobody looking out.

If there was a sighted person looking out on both vessels, then they could both take actions – change course or speed to avoid the incident.

My point isn't about blind people not being in control of sea going craft but, two alert people can make changes to their behaviours to avoid an incident.

Coming Out - Advice/Story Not For Everyone

An important thing about coming out is, it is different for everyone but there will be similarities for us all!

1) Unless you're ready to come out, don't even try it!

2) Once you are ready, make sure you could survive with nobody. It's unlikely to happen, but it does. I always say prepare for the worse hope for the best and you'll land somewhere in between. It's hard to loose people at anytime of your life. However, it's not as bad if you expect it.

When I came out, I did it in a sneaky way. I told my sister knowing she'd tell my mum. In turn who would tell my dad. This is how it went. When my dad and I were in the car going to a football match (soccer) he asked me about it. At 70 mph going along the motorway there's not too many options for escape, I did the grown up thing and denied it and said it must have been a figment of my mum's imagination. He took this and said no more.

A few weeks, maybe months after I e-mailed him explaining it all. At first he was scared for me, unsure where that left his identity and our relationship.

I reassured him that I was the same person, still thought he was a knob like any child thinks of their parents and happy to take his money:).

I wont deny, it also took a lot of hard work for both of us to restore our relationship. But it was never the same. Not because there was an elephant in the room but because there were no more secrets. I've been lucky, very lucky, coming out has brought my dad and I closer. Our relationship is better by far than what it was in the past.

3. Telling people, make sure that you're in control of how fast people find out.

If you know somebody will open their mouth by accident or not, don't tell them! Start with the one person that will never leave you until you die, yourself. Tell yourself that you're Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender. See how it feels when you call yourself this.

4. Tell your family first. But who do I tell first? If you know you're family well, choose the person who will react the worst. This sounds really backward, they'll freakout, go nuts tell nobody. But with any luck it will make a bad feeling between you that others will pick up on. When people ask 'what's wrong?”, that's your chance to tell them. You want the bad feeling from the other person, so the unknowing person will be inclined to automatically sympathise with you. Once you tell them, it will be harder emotionally for that person to be against you, unless they're homophobic in the first place. If this goes as planned you've then got a team mate! Tell the Next person, and the next and the next.

5) Ultimately it's your life, live it as you see fit. As long as it's not illegal and your safe. Let people judge. It doesn't mean you have to accept their verdict.

If anyone says this way is bad and so are the mind games that are invovled, please take not of the title before putting it down.

God, Love, Faith And Equality

I use “God” to mean a life force or being that is the patron of something like, Dionysus with wine and partying or Hera with home and marriage. Not just the Bible God.

God is an abstract being. The belief in God is shared by many. To all those that believe in God he is real but is interpreted differently as is his manifestation.

Love is an emotion, an abstract. It is only real to those that have experienced it. Love is shared by many and they believe in it. There's people in the world that don't know what love is, and don't believe it's true because they've never experienced it.

In both cases God and love, just because a person doesn't believe in it doesn't make it any less valid for the people that do.

I can't hold up a photo graph of God and say this is God. I can show you a photo of me practicing my beliefs and say This is how I show God is real to me. I can show you a photo of me and my soon to be wife battering lumps out of each other for a laugh and you'd not think we “love” each other. However, if I show you us on our wedding day holding hands and sharing a kiss, it'd be a different story. For us love is present in both photo's. But, in both you can't see love. You see what signs of love we share. Context is a massive part in life.

If you have to preach a faith or love it doesn't make it anymore real for none believers. It only validates it more in the minds of those that believe in it. If anything it widens the gap between people that don't share a faith – (weather it be, they don't have one or have a different one).

Faith hinders true human equality, if we didn't have a multitude of faiths then we'd all be equal. But, we do have many faiths, as humans we need to work on equality regardless of our own faith. Stop throwing mud at other humans that have different beliefs from us. Slamming a Christian because they believe homosexuality isn't equality. It's in equality. Equality allows us all to have our own thoughts, feelings and personalities. By virtue, if you slam someone for their thoughts etc you're stopping them having equality. You may not agree with their opinions and wish to find out more about their bases. However, it doesn't make their choices any less valid than yours. We are all humans, we are all different. Equality is all about being different and not being judged upon those differences. At least that's what it means to me. It may not be the dictionary definition but the dictionary is a rule book for words. Language is fluid like it moves and develops new directions.

For true equality we don't need faiths but we need to embrace the fact that everyone has their own version of faith.