I Want To Die…Sometimes…Lots of Times

Heads up! I talk about suicide and crap MH…

Thanks to @bossarocker on Twitter for 'inspiring' my writer's flow to write this. This might not be 'magic' but it has been cathartic to admit to myself/the world how I'm feeling.

This week, in the UK anyway, is “Mental Health Awareness Week”.

I'm always aware of mental health. Not only do I have mental health, so does my spouse, my dad, your mum and brother… We all have mental health.

We're all fed the rubbish that we need to have this stunning body like all those basic bitches desire so they can be individuals, while being all the same. We're also all fed this image of people being able to cope through everything in their life. When characters in all medums depart from the 'normal' behaviours that come with such an imense ability to deal with everything, they become sinister, comical or pittiful.

My mental health exists just as much as the next persons;. My mental health is as capable as my physical body. That is to say, it isn't reliable.

I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder and depression. I don't mean life isn't going my way and I'm a bit 'meh' rather I often battle with thoughts of : topping myself; offing myself; harikari; premature ejaculation from life or just suicide.

My anxiety has me sitting here wondering if I can cope with my shift on a helpline this evening or will it be too much. I'm also aware that it will be fine and I have all the support I need if it was too much. My anxiety also means that if I hear a creak during the night I think there is someone malicious outside my bedroom door. I've been sleeping with a window open in my room and for a spilt second my eye has been telling my brain there is someone standing by my bed. My anxiety can be triggered by too much noise, too little noise too many people or the look of a car's behaviour – following our route for too long. All these things affect my sleep, conscious decision to go to places and when to go.

My depression gives me feelings of suicide, it also gives me feelings of pointlessness and hopelessness. When you feel everything is collapsing it's hard to keep hope alive. I'm optimistic sure but only selectively.

When I was younger, I was able to roam the hills; helm boats; ride a bike, swim and run at competitions. I had free movement. By which I mean, I could move freely within a space. Now, I have to rely on one of three things: a white stick; a person or a dog. Neither of these feel truly comfortable. A person feels lame, it feels like you're a child again who needs to be supervised so they don't try playing with the traffic. A dog is okay, when you have feelings of “I can't be fucked” it makes it difficult to care for another living thing – even more so when you're not too bothered about your own existence. The stick, well, I've been a stick/cane user since I was fourteen. At first I was self conscious and not very keen on it. I eventually saw that it made people treat me special which was cool and kind or fun. Then once I learned it was because they saw me as vulnerable and/or weak compared to another person similar to me but with sight, I resented it. Now I know it's a symbol of vulnerability – I don't feel safe going outside on my own because in todays world, may in every age, criminals have no self respect and will attack the vulnerable in society.

I know I'm more than just a queer crip with tits. I'm a whole person. I don't know how most people label me at first contact but crip, tits and queer feel the most likely. Only after they've noticed these things they'll find out true me. For most people however, biases influence their future thoughts. For a blind person you're pretty cool. You're pretty for a queer… these are things that have been said to me.

Ask yourself, what reasons do I have to be a happy person? When I'm happy inside it's more than likely, you wont notice. I put on a show and get the best comments, 'For someone who has so much going against them, you're really positive…”. I am positive, positive that I hate my situation. Unlike the person(s) that have said such things, I'm not an insular muppet. I know things could be so much worse for me. I could be in a wheelchair, missing limbs and being tube fed while being blind and having pain and mental health troubles. Why don't I use that as a constant thing to boost me up? It only does to those people who are less able – what more able people do to me. They're no more inspiration/positivity porn than I am.

I will go to my shift this evening, I might cope (probably will) and I probably wont kill myself. I will be guided to the toilet; I will be driven to the building and I will have my dinner cooked. I probably will have a crap sleep, I'll probably feel glum then happy and then glum again. I wont give up though. I am not strong or resilient. Most of all I am not well/healthy but this doesn't mean…

I'm Your Inspiration

Re-Thinking The Concept of Independence

I wrote a post previously (13th of May 2013) called Independence & Disability, I was going to edit it to make it more inclussive of all disabilities and not just blindness. However by the time I edited it, it included more about interdependency and how nobody is independent. I've kept the first few bits the same as the earlier concept, which still exists in its original form. My thinking was sparked by this blog post: Access Intimacy, Interdependence and Disability Justice.

Can disabled people be 100% independent? Simple answer, no. Nobody can or there would be no need for medics, pilots or engineers.

The dictionary defines independent as:

“1.Free from outside control; not depending on another's authority”

More often than not, disabled folks need social welfare. This is provided by the government. They may need additional care (also controlled in the UK at least) by the state. 0-1 to me.

“2. Not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.”

See above. 0-2 to me.

If we use Maslov's hierarchy of needs as a basis we'll soon see that:

1) Crips cannot be independent.

2) Nobody can be independent.

3) Humans are not designed to be independent.

Over to Abe...

Physical Needs:

All of our bodies need at least air, water and food.

Air I for one cannot produce clean air for myself let alone another person. I depend, as do we all, on others to be considerate in how much poluition they create and the steps they take to counter that. If you cut down trees, you've just screwed us all over not just the person with a respiratory problem. How the Welsh are still being effected by Chernobyl

Water Unless you have an off grid desalination plant, r you're happy to drink collected rain water. Chances are you rely on others to keep clean drinking water flowing into your chosen drinking vessel - which you probably bought – and for an example of people that are being harmed by the break down of interdependence there's the Flint water crisis.

Food It's unlikely that you grow your own food or in enough quantities to sustain yourself on. If you do, go you! If not, why aren't you being independent, is there a barrier(s) to you doing it? Anyone for a side of food fraud?

Safety Needs

Nobody should be unsafe, but where interdependence has broke down people are.

Personal Safety Unless you have a firearm in your possession, which makes you less safe, you are probably going to be dependent on others (the Police) to stop that creepy person along the street from murdering you and your family. You also probably entrusted the building and installing of your home security measures weather it's just a locks or a super locked down system. For a disabled person this might mean a person to stop them coming to additional harms that a abled person may not face. Such as managing their finances so their 'friends' don't steel it.Which has become such a problem it has it's own name "Mate Crime ".

Financial Security In most places in world we buy and sell things. From sex to million (Insert currency appropriate to you) Yachts. Neither of these things are necessities but as above air, water and food are. Being able to afford a home in an area with clean air is not a luxury that everyone can afford. It may be down to actual financial capital. It could also be because of their time capital, if they work long hours they might not have enough time to commute. Either way unless they want to starve they work to earn money. For a disabled person however, they are reliant (in most cases but not all) on social welfare as their primary income. For many this can vanish at the blink of an eye because an assessor of their claim form decides they don't meet the criteria to get that support. Everyone dreams of not having to work but at the same time in that dream, thee is also a high expectation of comfort. This level of comfort doesn't come on social welfare. It's a kind of job in its own right. Trying to balance finances with needs; quality with cost.

Health And Well-being I doubt many people could demonstrate the heroics of Leonid Rogozov. If you can, High Five to you! For the rest of us feeble humans we rely on people with skills to chop, sew, scan and diagnose our bodies and minds. Sometimes, probably more often for the general population, they get it right, right away. For those of us with more complicated health and well-being needs it may take many trips to the specialist medic, nurse, psychotherapist or physiotherapist to get – no better – but to a point where we aren't feeling like death is the next person to walk through the door, even if we feel it might be welcome.

I could go farther down the list but I think it's fairly clear that nobody is independent. I also think that you would be most disappointed if a farmer told you to go away and grow your own food and you're lazy for not doing so. It is a double bladed sword, you can either force people to do more than they are able to – weather they have a disability or other barriers (time, money or space etc) or, we all have to help each another.

We have lived in groups for millennia, not because we want to. Rather, we need to. It takes a special kind of person to be 100% self sufficient with no human contact at all. Can you imagine being in a place with nobody else' you have to do everything yourself; there's no radio or entertainment; you have no vehicle (you wouldn't need one)...? It sounds like hell right?

This is not to say everyone has a disabilty. But, most people take interdependence for granted to the point those that do have a disabilty are seen as a weak link in the interdependency chain. I'll leave you with the consideration: What if disabled people took all their spending power out of the economy? The British Government estimate businesses could be missing out on £212,000,000,000 through being inaccessable to disabled people. This is only the number that businesses could be missing out on - the actual power therefore must be higher…

Happy Birthday! ... Is It?

I turn 28-years old in just over 24 hours. Woo Birthday! Not quite.

You see I'm still trying to get passed an issue that started 34 years ago. The problem nae problems are:

1) The patriarchal society that tells a woman of 21 (very nearly 22) she can't keep her baby because she isn't married. That also looked down upon her for having a second child out of marriage, the first being born four years prior.

2) The upset that the woman felt every year on the date of her adopted-out baby's birth

3) The fact that she never tried to hide that upset for the child she did have in the future, which by some sick freak of nature landed on the same date as the previous baby's birth.

I know, I should have compassion, however, it's a difficult thing to have when all your birthday's that you can remember have been miserable. I also know, that kid might be angry or questioning their sense of self. This to I can imagine is difficult but honestly not something I can understand since I'm 'fortunate' enough to know my mother.

What I do know is Dean Duncan born the 18^th of April 1983 in Aberdeen was adopted to a couple from Perth/Perthshire and the husband was a fire fighter. That's all the information I have about why my birthdays have never been as fun as other people's.

I've not lived at home for about 9 years, I'm a grown woman (not an adult!) but yet every birthday is still miserable. It feels like I'm still not allowed to enjoy it. I shouldn't ask to do something special because it's not what someone else wants to do. When I try to do something special I feel guilty for being happy.

I'm sure I'm not the only person with a mother who has reacted (understandably but not justifiably) in the same way as mine has. I'm sure to some it wont be a surprise to know that the damage making someone give up a child can do to them and future children. I'm sure I'll never get those lost days of happiness back but I hope by writing it down and letting the world know how I feel on the 18^th of April – it might get better.

The only good birthday I remember with any clarity was when my dad and his colleague/friend/my courtesy uncle Steve took me pony riding. Before anyone judges, I know how privileged that sounds. In lots of ways growing up I was privileged in others I was deprived. Money is great for accessing things like pony trekking or buying roller-blades – it's not good for reaching your mothers emotional side unless you're the one giving her the money. Anyway, after the pony ride my dad got me involved with an awesome charity called Riding for the Disabled Association. The RDA, is a UK wide charity that gets people with disabilities interacting with horses. At that time I was only sight impaired. The reason I say sight impaired an not blind is because I started riding with them when I was 'Registered Visually Impaired' then in November of 1995 I was 'Registered Blind'. Us lot have to be registered incase there is a power-cut with not back-up lighting available or the sun goes out so that we can help sighted folk live independently.

Feel free to post me money, cake and material things but leave your happiness at the door please. Also, no damn cards, I can't read them!

I'm Alive - Ask A Blind Person

I would state the obvious by saying it's been sometime since I last wrote a blog post but... You can see that from the date stamp on the last one.

So, what's happened? We've not quite got to world war three like I purposed, however, I don't think that we're all that far off now. Ever the optimist.

Now the UK is leaving the EU and we have Trump. By we I mean the world. I can't really complain I voted for both, despite not being a US citizen... That one is so worn but I'm into recycling.

In my life, I completed University. Well, one module which was ample education in social sciences for me. I'm fairly sure University is a waste of time unless you want to, cut people open and build stuff. Even then I don't see why a modern apprenticeship would work for either of those. I may go back and do a module about personal finance, at least that way I may learn where all my money is going.

Ask A Blind Person? (#AskABlindPerson)

 I was going to write a whole #AskABlindPerson post but that didn't get very many questions, so you can stay ignorant for all I care just don't blame me if I give you a dressing down for being silly. You have had your chance!

For those that did ask questions here are some answers:

Yes

No

Noo

Definitely

Q) How do blind people use Twitter etc?

A) I use a screen reader on my phone called VoiceOver. This is built into Apple products as standards. It's quality varies from device-to-device – their phones and tablets are the best in that order. Where as, their computers have some way to go to compete with other screen readers like JAWS for Windows. There is a similar but less functional screen reader on Android devices called TalkBack which personally is a heap of crud. I think on both platforms you can access Voiceover/TalkBack by going to Settings → (Apple) General → (Both) Accessibility → VoiceOver/TalkBack and then toggling it on. It's worth barring in mind that to turn them off again you'll need to double tap the toggle switch.

The only thing that screen readers can't do is read images. At least those without Alt tags added in their coding. However, Facebook and Apple are changing this. Facebook has developed a not so good version of Apples idea of auto text. This works using some sort of dark, sinister technology called AI. It analysis the image and comes up with a best guess of what is in the image based on what humans have told it similar things are. Facebook has told me that I'm smiling and the picture is a close up, with me wearing shoes – yes, I was smiling, Yes, it was sort of close up but no, I was just wearing a hoody, bra and pants... Some way to go yet. Apple's process was able to describe Stonehenge as a megalith which is a good shot. It also tells you if someone is smiling and if the image is sharp or blurred but this is often not so sharp itself.

Q) Don't you get bored watching movies because you don't know what's going on?

A) No because there is a thing called audio description, see my earlier post about this. It's more and more widely available. Netflix and BBC iPlayer have it on their streaming services. Netflix allows AD tracks to be downloaded unlike BBC. However, in the BBC's defence, their DVDs often have audio navigation, meaning a blind person can navigate all those menus that come with DVDs these days.

Q) Do you read... oh sorry... I mean...?

A) I can read, like letters and words and stuff. I often tend to use audio formats because my eyes tire really quickly and sore eyes aren't fun. I could read braille at one point but then someone decided all braille should be the same and I haven't bothered trying to learn the new modified braille code. It's fairly pointless while I have ears to listen and fingers to type with. Plus, my braille skills were so crud that I was reading o n e l e t t e r a t a t I m e, so it wasn't very fast. I'm sure I would of got quicker but technology right?

Q) IF I WRITE THIS ALL IN CAPS WILL YOUR PHONE SHOUT AT YOU?

A) Firstly, well done for knowing the answer to Q1! Secondly, no. VoiceOver will either read it as a normal word or it will read out the letters individually. You could maybe use the loud speaker emoji to tell us blind people that you're shouting. Or, keep your shit together an have a rational conversation, even in real life, if you shout I stop listening. Also, it's SUPER ANNOYING WHEN YOU REPEAT EMOJI 🐸🐸🐸🐸

Q) How do you have/do sex?

A) Pretty Well! No complains so far at least... Seriously though – not everyone has/wants/does sex and if they do it's often tackled in different ways. Otherwise there wouldn't be a need for sex toys and sex-bots because we would all be satisfied and we wouldn't complain she/he/they don't do X, Y or Z the way I like/at all.

Q) Do blind people only see black?

A) Black is a colour. Colours are concepts that require us to agree on what frequency of light waves we are all seeing. I refer you back to 'that dress'. If you can't see light you can't see black. I have a little bit of sight but for those that are totally blind (I've been one of those for a short time a couple of times as a kid) – you see nothing your eyes don't work. Put your hand in the air (if you have a hand) and task yourself what you can feel? The answer presuming you're not in pain is nothing. You feel your hand and that's all.

I did get some other questions but I can't remember them or maybe I'm lying and there were no others... If you have any, tweet me @Pipa)Riggs or comment below.

Ched Evans, Rape And Society

This is my first posting in a very long time, I have been lacking in ideas L .

Of late there has been a lot of talk in the media and on social networks about a British footballer called Ched Evans. He was convicted of raping a 19-year-old woman. He was given a five year prison sentence which in England means you serve half in custody and the other half on licence. The is now great disgust that his team that he played for prior to conviction has allowed him back to train with them.

I would ask what is the problem. Yes, he committed a very serious offence, however, he has served the custodial part of his sentence and has been released. If, he poses a threat to people, why was he released? He doesn’t, that’s why. The outrage is because as a footballer he is a role model to young males who are impressionable. Him playing football for a professional team gives the message that the young males can go on to rape someone and not be punished. Last time I checked, we don’t sack players for other undesirable behaviours such as homophobia, binge drinking or speeding. Although these behaviours are not in the same league as rape, they are not socially acceptable.

What is the point of sending a person to prison if they are not afforded the same rights as everyone else on their release? I can understand removing people with sexual interest in children from positions where they may become tempted to reoffend. In this case, the football wasn’t the focus of his offence. It could be argued he only had the money to fund the alcohol and hotel room that were involved in the offence due to earning around £20,000 per week, this would be tenuous though.

Many rappers sing about drugs in a positive way; women in a misogynistic manner and violence. Rather than banning these artists altogether radio and television stations blank out the offensive words. Surely, the right thing is to ban the artists outright if their music doesn’t conform to our standards of what is appropriate for young people? They may not of committed any offenses but they are still potential role models.

Returning to Ched Evans, I believe it is a great shame that he committed rape and that he should not be allowed to brush off his own behaviour. It is however, important not to forget that he wasn’t the only person charged and taken to court for the offence. Another player was also in the dock with him. He however, was found not guilty. We are ultimately responsible for our own behaviour but what about all those other parties that could of stopped the offence from taking place? The other male could of reasonably assaulted Ched to stop him carrying out the act. So also could of anyone that noticed the group of one legless female and two males.

All my above arguments ofcourse depend on Ched Evans being a rapist, as it stands he is but it is also important to remember that he has asked his lawyers to have his case reviewed. This could result in a complete over-turn of his conviction. So until this review has taken place, why not let him play with a claus built into his contract that would allow his dismissal if his conviction is upheld? Would this not make the punishment more hard hitting for the young males that look upto him? Many people leave prison with no jobs to walk into, sex offenders find it harder to find work. So, if prison isn’t enough of a deterrent for young males considering or inadvertently raping someone – what difference will stopping a football player make to them? Misogyny is a learnt behaviour rape isn’t. Some woman hate men but they don’t rape them. Rape is something used by mostly men to dominate another for their own gratification weather that be sexual or egotistical. We’ve had the “No! Means No!” campaign but this hasn’t been a magic bullet and caused all rape to stop.

Rape is far more complicated than a young male seeing a role model doing it and thinking I’m going to do it to. So, let’s leave Ched to his review and sack him after if his conviction is upheld, if we really must.

Time For A Third, World War?

So, we've forgotten about North Korea for this week and turned our attention back to Syria.

With Hezbollah now getting involved and the conflict looking like it could spill out of the Syrian boarders into surrounding countries. Is a Third world war a possibility?

If the Syrian Government are allowing Hezbollah to fight along side them it is almost certain that it won't be long before Iran pipes up and tries to join in. After all, there's strong links between Hezbollah and the Iranian Government.

We've already seen air-strikes from Israel on targets inside Syria. We all know what great buddies Israel are with Iran and other Muslim states. I'm speculating that Israel aren't going to let Iranian forces move in next door and let them be. So this then gives the U.S. A reason to back up their mates the Israelis.

At this point the rest of NATO will be breathed into the zone.

Before going into Iraq, the main intel that got the U.S. Interested came from the French – or at least an informant of the french intel services. It later turned out he was speaking out of a muscular ring between his lower cheeks. Admittedly, it also came out later that the C.I.A didn't look at the statements from him as well as they could. We already have the French confirming the use of chemical weapons by the Syrian state against the people – which was one of the “red lines” both the UK and the U.S. Said they'd not tolerate. So, I'm not saying they're wrong against they've been the primary informant if you wish to the U.S. Who's interest has surely got to be greater now. After all, the set limits and stick by them.

But, it's all over there isn't it? For the first few months maybe.

Remember, when we talk about war with Israel and Iran all common-sense is lost. It becomes a war of religion. Unlike two children fighting in the playground we know Iran would be happier without Israel around. We suspect Iran has a plan to make nucular weapons for this purpose. We know that Israel has nuclear capability.

We also know the Russians are happy to feed the war and so are China. China and Russia also back North Korea who are against the South Koreans who are backed by the U.S.

Even if the U.S. Can, keep their fingers off of any weapons trigger – there eye will be off the ball when it comes to North Korea. Times have changed dramatically, I know! Let's not forget though, the only reason the U.S. Got involved in WWII is because of the Japanese hitting Pearl Harbour. With two states (Iran and North Korea) itching for a fight with the U.S. I can't see them leaving them be at peace.

So, we have on team A (Allies)

Israel+NATO

Team B (Bad Guys)

Syria+Iran+N Korea+Russia+China+A lot of other Islamic States

The interesting country will be Turkey – they are friendly with the U.S. But are far from friendly with the Israelis.

Even if we're sat at home feelings of safety because it's so far away “abroad”. Let's not forget what weapons Team B are happy to use. Their own bodies loaded with explosives, small firearms and bladed objects.

The number of extremists is “low” but how long will it be before that changes. Religion is thicker than blood. Once they see their own being killed it's only time before they take action from the inside.

Nobody, feels safe. Everyone suspects everyone, don't forget white, black, brown and all other colours of people can be any faith they choose.

It might seem very unlikely but let's not forget also – the Syrian war and the Bahrain protests are both based on religion!

If it doesn't go as described above I can almost say the “Teams” will be exactly as above in the third world war.

Independence & Disability

It may be my negative mind at work once more or it may just be me taking a step back and asking a question nobody else will.

Can disabled persons be TRUELY independent?

I can only speak for myself, with my disabilities. However – I'd say no.

The dictionary defines independent as:

“1.Free from outside control; not depending on another's authority”

“2. Not depending on another for livelihood or subsistence.”

Can a blind person get up in the morning (or anytime of day to suit) – get themselves to work completely on their own, with no additional communication? 

I don't think they can. Weather it's asking a bus driver to let you off at a certain stop or calling for a taxi, when a sighted person could drive/learn to (presuming they don't have any other impairments). This is in the perfect world where every blind person has a job and the bus drivers always remember to stop and let the blind person know a) that they are a bus, and b) which number they are.

So, we're at work now. Can a blind person walk in off of the street into any office, with just the clothes they're wearing? No, they most likely need specialist software or devices in some instances. Of course unless we're talking about a job that is specifically created for the person's needs such as braille proof reader or something. Yes, some jobs don't involve computers all be it an ever unlikely situation where that is true. So, we look at a less tech driven job. Can a speaker or a personal trainer get from place-to-place by driving or public transport totally solo? No, they need a driver or additional communication.

...We've finished our mornings work in the office or being a gym queen with our Personal Assistant making sure the client isn't going to drop a load of free-weights on their chest causing them to suffocate... It's lunch time! We have three options here.

1. Bring food in (packed lunch).
2. Get something from a local store.
3. Join our workmates for lunch somewhere.
   So, option 1 is easy right? Nope, it has exactly the same problem as option number 2. You may be able to find the shop with your cane or dog - but, you can't find what you want in the shop. So... you have to do the “independent” thing and ask? That's right you're independently asking for help to buy the food you need to live. I've been unfair here, and presumed you've not done you're shopping online and had it delivered by a person who will tell you what everything is because you can't see it.
   With option 3. You'd be reliant on a co-worker reading a menu to you and guiding you to a table at the very least. That's presuming you know where you're going to from your office and you're also fine with finding the toilets when you're there.
   … Now we've been to work and got home and cooked dinner.
   How did we cook dinner? We used a recipe (probably not from an off the shelf Waterstones book) or possibly our memory. We may have used a talking jug or talking scales – maybe even a talking microwave. We didn't use a off the shelf jug or digital or even analogue scales. We could possibly have used a standard off the shelf microwave presuming it's had bump-ons attached to it.
   Of course there is always the other option of ready meals... But, they all have different cooking and standing times. Some you put in for a minute; take out; stir; do a slow waltz before putting them back in for another three days others you stick in for ten minutes, ping, done! You get the idea. So, once again, you'd have to ask someone to read these instructions for you and put some sort of mark on the “identical to the next” box to allow you to discriminate between them and their cooking requirements.
   Medication, not a problem at all these days! it's got braille on most of it. Oh! but the prescription... It needs a bit of box ticking. What will we do? Yes, “independently” ask for someone sighted to do it! If we drop a pill and can't find it we? Leave it for the vacuum cleaner or someone sighted, possibly our dogb to find it.
   Cup of something before bed? Kettles boiled “click” - grab a cup, milk and whatever else you need for said drink. STOP! Before tipping scolding hot water into a cup – don't forget your liquid level indicator to tell you when to stop pooring - to prevent spillage and/or injury.

Now, we're in bed! Yes, that's right - you're lucky enough to be in bed with me! Nice, comfy, warm and safe. See you in the morning and you can read the post that someone sent to me.

Sure, we're all limited in one way or another but there's an average that is given. A non mechanic may need a mechanic to repair their vehicle. We all have our specialities, but you can't really claim to be “independent” if you need help with routine tasks. If you're disabled, by the nature of the word – you are dis-abled from doing “standard” things. This is not to say you're incapable of living a “normal” life with certain restrictions or help. However, you are not independent.

The reason for writing this post – isn't to slam those that try their best to lead a full, wholesome and intergrated life; but to tell people to stop pretending independence is achievable with a disability - or at least my disability!

As a child, I was told I could achieve anything I wanted – I could be like my sighted friends. That is of course, unless I wanted a fancy car that I could get in trouble with by driving at silly speeds; if I wanted to join the military or go back-packing around the world (without a rifle). There's many other examples of what I couldn't/can't do, that you and my sighted friends could/can. I'm not going to list them all because – well, what purpose does it serve...?

Just be very mindful, when you tell someone they can be as great like …... because nobody is the same. I can't be Joan of Arc – you're child can't be the next Beckham. I'm not saying aspirations are a waste of time, I'm saying we're all different and by virtue of that we can never be the same as anyone else. We can aspire to be as good as we can be. If not so, Hitler should feel ashamed, he was nowhere near as “evil” as Genghis Khan and Beckham is not nearly as good as me at reading braille upside down with one hand. I am as good at writing as myself and possibly better than a few others but not nearly as good as another few.

Be yourself and don't pretend to be something you're not or that others wish you to be. Most of all don't give others false hope - things simply might not get better.