Coming Out - Advice/Story Not For Everyone

An important thing about coming out is, it is different for everyone but there will be similarities for us all!

1) Unless you're ready to come out, don't even try it!

2) Once you are ready, make sure you could survive with nobody. It's unlikely to happen, but it does. I always say prepare for the worse hope for the best and you'll land somewhere in between. It's hard to loose people at anytime of your life. However, it's not as bad if you expect it.

When I came out, I did it in a sneaky way. I told my sister knowing she'd tell my mum. In turn who would tell my dad. This is how it went. When my dad and I were in the car going to a football match (soccer) he asked me about it. At 70 mph going along the motorway there's not too many options for escape, I did the grown up thing and denied it and said it must have been a figment of my mum's imagination. He took this and said no more.

A few weeks, maybe months after I e-mailed him explaining it all. At first he was scared for me, unsure where that left his identity and our relationship.

I reassured him that I was the same person, still thought he was a knob like any child thinks of their parents and happy to take his money:).

I wont deny, it also took a lot of hard work for both of us to restore our relationship. But it was never the same. Not because there was an elephant in the room but because there were no more secrets. I've been lucky, very lucky, coming out has brought my dad and I closer. Our relationship is better by far than what it was in the past.

3. Telling people, make sure that you're in control of how fast people find out.

If you know somebody will open their mouth by accident or not, don't tell them! Start with the one person that will never leave you until you die, yourself. Tell yourself that you're Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Transgender. See how it feels when you call yourself this.

4. Tell your family first. But who do I tell first? If you know you're family well, choose the person who will react the worst. This sounds really backward, they'll freakout, go nuts tell nobody. But with any luck it will make a bad feeling between you that others will pick up on. When people ask 'what's wrong?”, that's your chance to tell them. You want the bad feeling from the other person, so the unknowing person will be inclined to automatically sympathise with you. Once you tell them, it will be harder emotionally for that person to be against you, unless they're homophobic in the first place. If this goes as planned you've then got a team mate! Tell the Next person, and the next and the next.

5) Ultimately it's your life, live it as you see fit. As long as it's not illegal and your safe. Let people judge. It doesn't mean you have to accept their verdict.

If anyone says this way is bad and so are the mind games that are invovled, please take not of the title before putting it down.